Saturday, June 5, 2010

Quipped Song

The girl is fool, she broke the rules, she hurt him hard
this time he will break down...
She's lost his trust and so she must, know all is lost
the system has broke down
romance has broke down....

This boy is cracking up
this boy has broken down
this boy is cracking up
this boy has broke down

she plays it hard, she plays it tough
but that's enough the love is over
she's broke his heart and that is rough
but in the end he'll soon recover
romance is over....

I've been spending my money in the old town
it's not the same, honey, with you not around
been spending my time, in the old town
sure I miss you, honey, but you're not around....


Huff....I wish I could treat my man much more better next time...and the upcoming will be my last...my and his very very last.

A Reason to Stay

I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
and I don't wanna move a thing
it might change my memories

oh, I am what I am
I do what I want
but I can't hide

I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me
I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

My Favourite Song-quote recently

"I'd like to change my point of view. I feel so lonely, I'm waiting for you...but nothing ever happens, and I wonder.

I'm stepping around in a dessert of joy, maybe anyhow I'll get another toy, and everything will happen...and you'll wonder" Fool's Garden-Lemon Tree

"They say that I should want to stand for what I don't believe. I'm sick and thinking to myself, what kind a man could live?" Lobo-Big Red Kite

"He's lost his will, he can't decide. He doesn't know who's right or wrong. But there's one thing that he sure of, this has been going on too long" Lily Allen-Him

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Summerschool

Ga biasanya saya nulis blog dengan bahasa negeri sendiri begini.
Entah kenapa setiap kali menulis sesuatu yang sifatnya non-akademis, lebih enak kalau pakai bahasa bule, kayaknya lebih eskpresif aja (atau malah bisa menyembunyikan maksud dan tujuan yang sebenarnya? hehe)
Tapi kali ini saya lagi ingin nulis blog dengan bahasa Indonesia yang ga baku. Jadi, postingan kali ini memang agak beda dari biasanya, ga cuma dari segi bahasa, tapi juga isi. Postingan kali ini lebih pengen ke arah curhat ga jelas (lah, emang biasanya tentang apa?)

Lanjut S2 keluar negeri, seperti yang jadi impian banyak orang yang saya kenal di dalam circle of friend saya, bukan menjadi impian saya sama sekali. Ada beribu alasan kenapa begitu, yang kalau dijelaskan panjang x lebar x tinggi selain ga selesai-selesai, belum tentu juga orang akhirnya ngerti. Yang jelas, keputusan saya untuk tidak mau mencari link2 atau beasiswa S2 keluar negeri sudah bulat dan merupakan keputusan yang saya pertimbangkan sejak lama sekali, lebih dari setahun yang lalu. Tapi, meskipun ga minat lanjut S2 keluar negeri, bukan berarti saya sama sekali ga minat sekolah di luar negeri looh...

Summerschool-ing. Yup, itu jawabannya. Saya memang ga mau ngejar gelar sebenarnya, tapi ngejar ilmu (uhuk-uhuk). Bahkan sebenarnya, for the sake of knowledge, saya malah pingin belajar yang lain selain ekonomi untuk ke depannya, jadi nih ilmu ga lagi dikembangkan ke analisis permintaan-penawaran, IS-LM, Solow Growth Model, dan kawan2-nya seperti dulu pas jaman S1, tapi mungkin ke psychology theory atau cabang2 social sciences lainnya. Tapi mengingat saya pingin jadi pengajar, maka kayaknya mau tak mau, suka tak suka, rela tak rela emang mesti punya gelar S2 Ekonomi. Well, intinya, dalam hidup ini saya pikir gelar akademis ga hakiki, dan oleh karenanya, summerschool menjadi alternatif saya. Enak toh, belajar paling cuma sekian bulan aja, tanpa gelar, tapi dapet ilmu, sekalian jalan2 pula, hehehe...

Pingin banget sebenarnya summerschool-ing ekonometrika. Ga umum memang, tapi bagi saya, sayang kalo summerschool itu cuma untuk belajar isu yang sifatnya "general" seperti conflict studies, humanity, governance, dsb, apalagi kalo case study atau ruang lingkup pelajarannya bukan ttg Indonesia, karena itu to some extent bisa dipelajari sendiri atau bahkan akan internalized ke dalam materi kuliah post graduate nantinya. Mendingan ngambil summerschool yang sifatnya tools aja sekalian, seperti dynamic optimization mungkin (ada ga ya?) atau topik2 econometrics (sebenarnya kadang saya bingung, saya tuh S.E. sarjana ekonomi atau sarjana ekonomet, hahahaahahaha).

Pas lagi iseng siang bolong hari sabtu gini buka2 blog yang udah debuan gara2 jarang dibuka ini, seperti biasa iseng main ke blog tetangga, dan tetangga terdekat saya (virtual maupun bukan) adalah Saudari Azia yang memang punya passion yang ga biasa terhadap Belanda entah kenapa. Nah, langsung deh ada link kompetiblog yang ngasih beasiswa summerschool ke Belanda dengan syarat nulis sesuatu yang menginspirasi orang untuk sekolah ke Belanda. Menarik, apalagi hadiah keduanya netbook dan yang ketiga iPod touch (mayanlah,hihi). Tapi kendala saya adalah:

1. Helloooo....I know nothing about Dutch, sodara2!!! Besides Arjen Robben, lampu Philips, Edam Cheese, cokelat Van Houten, dan semua cerita ttg penjajahan itu. So, how could I write anything about Dutch Innovation at all??? Memang mereka berinovasi dalam hal apa? Apa hebatnya mereka itu? hahahahaahahah

2. Salah satu kriteria penjuriannya adalah "Interaksi pemilik blog dengan pembacanya termasuk promosi tulisan melalui Facebook dan twitter". Hoalah...saya paling tidak jago dalam hal beginian. Udah nih tulisan kalaupun jadi sangat berpotensi menjadi tulisan kelas "alay", dan....saya biasanya payah dalam menggaet orang membaca tulisan saya (iya ga ya?) dan kalaupun mereka membaca tulisan saya..."mereka" alias teman2 FB saya itu biasanya malah akan kasih komen yang OOT bgt...jadi bukannya mempromosikan tulisan saya di mata juri, tapi yang ada bisa-bisa malah cuma bikin para juri geleng2 kepala, hahaha

3. Ini yang paling sensitif: me lack of passion about Dutch. Kebalikannya teman saya, saya sangat biasa2 aja sama negara yang satu ini. Kalau saya disuruh bikin tulisan semacam ini tentang negara lain seperti Italy atau yang lainnya, saya mungkin lebih punya ide. Tapi Dutch??? umm...sekarat ide!!! ><

tapiii....ada beberapa program yang menarik hati saya di Utrecht Univ. seperti Multivariate Analysis atau Multilevel Analysis....jadi pengen...sejenak melepaskan kehidupan di Depok dan Salemba,hwehehehe.... gimana dong jadinya ini saudara2??? Aku mauuuu....tapi maluuuuuu.......

(btw, bahasa saya udah nyaingin cincay laurah belom??? udah kayak es campur ini... wkwkwkwk)

Look

Look at the corner of your room, maybe you'll find the dust
Look at some of those photographs, maybe you'll find the emptiness
Look at the stories I love, maybe you'll find out what I'm talking about
Look at the people around you, maybe you'll find out how much they care about you

Look out to your soul sincerely, maybe you'll find the honesty
Look out to me within, maybe you'll find some place that you can fill in

and, look out again to your faith, maybe you'll pray for Him immediately to be with me only...

Thursday, April 1, 2010

For the love of my life, whenever I may find you

I'm not looking for someone to talk to, I've got my friends, I'm more than okay
I've got more than a girl could wish for, I live my dreams, but it's not all they say
still I believe
I'm missing something real
I need someone who really sees me...

Don't wanna wake up alone anymore...
still believing you'll walk through my door
all I need is to know it's for sure, then I'll give....all the love in the world

I often wondered if love's an illusion
just to get you through the loneliest days...
I can't criticized it, I had no hesitation
my imagination just stole me away...

Still I believe...I'm missing something real...
I need someone who really sees me

don't wanna wake up alone anymore...
still believing you'll walk through my door
all I need is to know it's for sure, then I'll give....all the love in the world

Love for a lifetime, not for a moment, so how could I throw it away?
I'm only human, and nights grow colder, with no one who loves me that way...
yeah I need someone who really sees me...

Hey I won't wake up alone anymore...
still believing you'll walk through my door...
you'll reach for me and I'll know it's for sure
then I'll give....all the love in the world...


for my future hubby, wherever I may find you...

Monday, March 29, 2010

Direct

Is it wise enough to say that I'm better off without you?
Is it cool enough to fake? Coz all that I've been breathing is about you.
Is it cool enough to flow from the head until my toe
but somehow I don't really know, coz all that I've been doing is without you

Is that you inside my head?
Is that you inside who said I've become someone else

and on and on my mind keep says "This is not..." but I believe that this is where it ends.
and on and on my mind is made up that this weird never stops...
alone....again...alone...again...

Is that you inside my head?