Okay, okay....finally, after twenty something years living on this planet called earth I found some clues of why I feel different all my life. Just took three different personality tests on three different websites with three different set of questions and ending up with the same consistent result: I am an INTJ. And yes, the description is 99.99% true it becomes quite creepy, thank you.
Despite being said that INTJ is one of the rarest, snobbiest and smartest types of human being out there, it seemed like they are just flocking around the internet - especially in the personality forums or so - talking to each other trying to solve their common problems and mysteries together that they started to seem like anything but rare...but, yeah, look at me. I've been trolling around the internet and real world trying to get to know why I often have much more "lateral" thoughts than others and seemed to be a perfect misfit anywhere and yes, the internet is one of the best ways for me to shout out and display my racing mind while digging many perspectives and ridiculous-ness of others - in order to answer that first question. Anyway, I know that statistically I am not loud enough on the internet, though. My Twitter followers' numbers remain small and steady, and although I got a "moderate" numbers of likes on my Instagram posts, my followers were again, small and steady in number up to now (yeah, I do not use my personal photo as my profile picture nor reveal my real name on both, and in here. I'm just too introverted, I think. It doesn't really matter who says it but what's being said, I think.). I even deactivated my FB account. It's not that my mind is full of blank. My brain seems to always racing and working.....but my thoughts are too often too jumbled and complicated it is so hard for me to get them articulated in any form. I try to write sometimes if I have time just to try to solve my own mind and problem through my writings. I am, yes, often tired.
The meat of the problem for a less-than-1%-of-total-female-population female INTJ like me is in the romance.While most of my friends have already had several ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends, I stayed single-but-barely-available until my early twenties, when I finally got into a serious relationship. Although I never had any boyfriend before, I felt like I was already figuring out what a relationship is. But when I thought I knew it all already, the problem arose in an escalated way and I felt like an idiot or something. So, lately I found a knowledge-sharing forum filled with INTJs or anyone who's interested in knowing an INTJ. The forum filled with questions to an INTJ, and people are basically throwing their opinions trying to answer them. It's more like an INTJ interview or so. I like to be interviewed because it sometimes opens some doors in my mind that I never realized before or untangles the tangled of it. Hence, I wanna try to answer those INTJ questions randomly here, from a point of view of a strongly-suspected-INTJ girl:
A: Of course! I'm just a human like you all. I do not fall in love easily, yes. In fact, I said yes to my man at the first place because I already set out a simple-yet-fundamental list of criteria that I wanted for a man of my life and he simply fitted those criteria. Hence, it's more that I failed to reject him instead of that I accepted him right away or out of emotional provocation. I fell in love with him slowly as I realized that I never had someone that truly loves me like he does before and the warmth of his caring melted my heart eventually. I'm far from easy to fall in love but when I do, I fall so hard. So, what makes me fall in love? A sincere love from someone that I approve at the first place.
A: Practically speaking, half a year or so. Hahaha, yes, in my relationship with him I felt so awkward calling him with something that indicates "a couple" or simply saying "I love you" at the earlier phase. It's just that every time I wanted to say "I love you" after he said that, my mind instantly responded with "Oh, really? Do you THINK so?", lol. It's just so silly sometimes. I responded with "me too" instead, many times.
A: I don't know. I am not a man. Next question.
A: I don't really have an idea. My previous man was definitely not an INTJ. I think he's an INTP as he's really like Albert Einstein-type-of-person. Although I'm an INTJ but I'm not a man, so sorry, cannot help you on this.
A: Nah, good question. I think I never met an INTJ man in my life before.
A: Am not into astrology so I don't know. I don't believe that the answer is "yes", though, for that question.
A: I told you I'm not a man. Aarrgghh...can the question be not gender-based? *at wits end*
A: No, you're definitely not. I am pretty much a religious person. Unlike the popular myth that a religious person is irrational or something, I chose to be a religious ones out of long-rational-analytical processes. You gotta realize and admit that there is not only between rational vs irrational. There is something called "supra-rational", and it's an opposite adjective of irrational, too. Quoting someone: do not only think outside the box. Try to think without the box.
A: It means that we frustrated ourselves in order to become more attractive and have a partner in life. We're just clueless about what we do on that part actually.
A: Nope. Not. Never. I agree with the INTJ description on many websites out there on this one. An INTJ is too moral and committed to do such thing.
A: Nice question. I question that too. Maybe because I always brutally honest about many things although I don't talk too much. I've never been so good at small talks either so I may seem aloof many times. If I have to say some words or do something, I'd rather to have it done sincerely or I won't bother. It's a curse and a blessing.
A: I've been kinda "accidentally" a freelance consultant. I enjoy this so much as I constantly jump from one project to another, often they are very different from one another. I get bored and feel unchallenged easily in a somewhat constant, highly structured and routine environment. This is nice. I sometimes feel like I'm living a rock star life :p
A: I don't know. I'm trying to get some insights on me, too. That's why I am writing this post and trying to answer these random things.
Well, now I don't know what to do with my life but in the next second I may feel like I'm madly genius about this life. I only know the thing He let me know about. While I, I know nothing, really. But ask me anything, please.
