Quest

Last year, I had a dream about something precious
Something that had never been mine
Something that I know from the start that it would leads to nothing

Then, I left it behind

no heart feeling whatsoever

This year, my life has taken me to the point that I've never imagine before

All of these things were never in my plan

Although these circumstances often hurt me bad, I know that I must go on

Although it seems that everything that I want is taken away from me, but who I got to blame?

nobody but me

Next year, of course I don't have any idea about where my life will go

But I'm sure He knows everything about my motives

He knows me, He knows my heart, my mind, my life quest, regardless what the world say about me

and I'm sure that He saves the best for me

so my only hope about next year's circumstances will be

nothing but no frontiers whatsoever :)

NB: Do you think that all of those blog posts in this blog explains MUCH about me? Sorry, but you're wrong, folks! Yes, they try to explain the corners of my mind, but I'm just like a diamond, this blog only reveals one side of me of much more, and I'm not sharing as much as you think I am. To know me is to confront me instead, slowly, gradually, extensively. No other way.

Someone I Need

so much craziness surrounding me

so much going on, it gets hard to breathe

when all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me

...you make it real for me

when I'm not sure of my priorities

when I've lost site of where I meant to be

...you make it real for me

and I'm running to you, baby

coz you are the only one who save me

that's why I've been missing you lately

coz you make it real for me

when my head is strong, but my heart is weak

I'm full of hurricanes and uncertainties

when I can't find the words, you teach my heart to speak

...you make it real for me

everybody's talking in words I don't understand

you got to be the only one who knows just who I am

you're shining in the distance, I hope I can make it through

coz the only place that I want to be...is right back home with you

I guess this so much more...I have to learn

but if you're here with me, I know which way to turn

you always give me somewhere...somewhere I can run

...you make it real for me

Music and Lyrics by James Morrison

... if only You give me the one who make it real for me, then I hope that I know that's the time when I will search no more.

Geek Rock

As this page suggested, me is the person who appreciates music very much...but lately, after carefully considering many trustworthy and reliable music sources...I found that part of my taste in music is categorized as "Geek Rock"...Heck!

Why are they categorized as "geek"? I mean, yes I like Weezer very much...and Rivers (the frontman of Weezer) is a lovable guy. You know, he's a very talented musician, he makes many great compositions (the Blue Album is indeed the strong evidence of it), and he's a Harvard graduate....with a straight-A-student reputation. Is he geek? I think he's a genius,hehe...

and I also like Ozma, the band from Pasadena, CA. Their songs are really meaningful and strong in lyrics, I think. I also like The Strokes, White Stripes, and other "geek" rockers.

But I don't get it why they are categorized as "geek".

Is it because their often-off-the-key notes on their songs? But, hey, it's not coincidence. That's just EXACTLY how they perform the keys.

Is it because their lyrics is not as "flirt" as it should be? But, hey, they don't need to blabbing the words of love all around...think about their lyrics for a while, then you'll be surprised how the simple truth could reveal such deep revelations.

or...is it simply because they are overly unconventionally smart so that it's hard for many people (me also, because sometimes it took me months to understand the meaning of their songs, musically and wordy) to just get them?

but....whatever....Geek Rock for life! Rock on! \m/

Supertstitious One

I'm not a person who believe in the superstitious ones...I consider myself (and always try to be) a true believer...but, yes, I believe with all my heart all of the supernatural things, that we are just a small fraction of this universe, and there's so many things in this life that happen all around us without being able to be notifiable enough for our five senses.

I believe that what's coming from the heart will always reach the heart, too...no matter odds it would be. Then I start to consult my heart for many things, something that I never ever bother before.

and my heart starts speaking. Here's what it said to me this night:
- I'm on the right track. Yes, I slipped through off the track sometimes, but I have come back for more immediately

- I'm swimming through different river than before, now. However I don't know whether it would end up at the same damn dark blue ocean again, just like before, because all that I can see through now is just a plain dark blue ocean ahead.

- I still can remember what it felt like in the middle of the dark ocean. It's calm...overly calm. It's dark, too. No wind, no waves, no light. I couldn't feel anything. I wasn't sad. I wasn't happy either, of course. I couldn't even try to do anything because nothing left to try. I was totally numb.

Do I want to be on that situation again? No. Of course all I want to reach in the end is the island in the sun....where everything feels so fine.

But let me look the situation now...

- My current river flows on the same line with my old rivers
- It combines the "nightmares" derived from my old rivers
- The more I see the less I know, the more I like to let it go

yet my heart still says nothing about whether I would end up at the same ocean like before, same darkness, same nothingness.

but I remember one thing about being in the middle of dark blue ocean. I still could feel the rain starts falling...streaming down my face...freezing me inside...so I hope I won't stop praying when the waters fall, 'coz standing in the rain ain't gonna leave me dry :)

PS: Aarggh...it's 11:19...nobody is missing me now, the superstitious one said :)

Angin Malam

Masih malam Piala Dunia 2010 hari ini...entah kenapa aku tak tertarik sedikit juga untuk ikut merasakan hangatnya euforia Greece vs Nigeria...
Bagiku malam ini agak dingin, dengan suhu 26 derajat Celsius saja di luar sana, menurut termometer di tab-browser-ku...tapi angin malam yang berhembus semilir menurunkannya beberapa derajat, kurasa...
Pikiranku entah mengapa melayang...jauh ke belakang...ke masa-masa belasan tahun yang lalu...hati ini jadi ikut terasa dingin...
Hati ini pun mencari...kepingan pikiran yang terjatuh di masa itu, di mana akal sehat dan segala rasionalisme yang dapat terkomputasi oleh sel-sel otakku sekarang tak bisa menembusnya...sedikit saja ingatan tentang itu...sekeping suasana yang terbesit di hati...
Ada yang kemudian menggelitik melintas hati ini....bayangan tentang hari Minggu
bayangan tentang es krim
bayangan tentang dendangan itu
dan aku pun temukan lagi lagu itu....Angin Malam....

Aku putar...ia pun memutar kembali memoriku tentang masa itu...membawaku tamasya ke sana...jauh meninggalkan semua hal yang terjadi sekarang...lagu itu membuatku tersenyum...aku bisa mendengarkannya semalaman ini, kurasa....

dan lagu itu pun telah menjadi angin malam-ku malam ini...persis seperti yang dapat diungkapkannya melalui untaian sajak tak terikatnya...

angin malam yang berhembus di tengah malam yang pekat memang bisa berarti lebih dari satu hal.
ia bisa membuat malam menjadi semakin dingin
ia bisa membuat malam sedikit membuatmu tersenyum
ia bisa jadi bukan apa-apa...hanya halusinasimu yang berharap bahwa malam tidak hanya pekat


*by the way...this is my first post ever written in "Bahasa Indonesia yang baik dan benar". Congratulation to me :)

10 Great (est?) Love Songs

This post is inspired by one of the thread in Kaskus. I then start to think that it would be nice if I do the similar thing in my blog...and, as my blog title suggested...it would be very relevant. It's not an easy task for me to list down my favorite tracks because I simply could not make them ranked. Each of them rules my heart and mind in very different ways...and I may make some kind of this post several times in the future. So, as the beginning of World Cup 2010, ups...as the beginning of my top-listed-songs posts...let me let you know about 10 songs that I consider as the best love songs. Here we go.

10. Rainy Day - The CorrsYes, you're right. I have The Corrs at 10th position. I'm currently really enjoying their songs and having theirs on my everyday playlist, although they had been my favorite since I was in Junior High School. This song represent me so well these days, I just feel so. It makes this song so much "terngiang-ngiang" in my head recently, alongside many other of The Corrs'. Moreover, I really feel that my voice recites Andrea's very well in this song,hahaha. Here's the "terngiang-ngiang" line:

Seated, with a man she knows she shouldn't be with
but in his eyes, the lies surprised, something she's been needing
a certain touch within her voice can tell you what she's feeling
I want you, need you, yeah, I want you, I need you
and I'll be lying here waiting, hoping the love will come my way
but if the sun's still shining I'll save it for another day (save it for the rainy day)

9. Here with me - Dido

Love this song for giving one of the best reason to stay :)

Oh, I am what I amI do what I want, but I can't hide
I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me

8. Ring - Lobo

I'm not a country music fan, but Lobo is indeed my favorite artist. And...among all of his melancholic country songs, this one that I love the most. It tells you the story of how the two hearts meeting from the very beginning. It starts with the telephone ring, then move into the door bell ring, and then ends with the wedding bell ring. That's how this song got its name, I guess, which is kind of genius yet remain sweet.

7. Layla - Eric Clapton (Unplugged)


One of the finest song in one of the finest unplugged album ever. That's all.

6. At My Most Beautiful - REM

Every time I hear this song, I just start to daydream,hehe...the melody, the heartfelt lyric...one of the sweetest...but the heartbreaking thing about it was that it's still doubtful whether this song is dedicated to a woman or a man (hyaaa)...but surely Michael has written one of the most romantic love song ever.

I found the way to make you, I found the way....a way to make you smile
At my most beautiful, I count your eyelashes, secretly with everyone whisper I love you

5. You and I - Queen

Yeeyy...it's top 5, and it begins with one of my top favorite artists of all time, Queen. However, among all of their greatest love hits like "Love of My Life" or "Somebody to Love", I picked "You and I" as one of my top-listed-love song from their second album, "A Day at the Races". That's my fav album of Queen. About this band, I used to be some kinda non-mainstream fan because my favorite track of Queen includes this one as well as "You Take My Breath Away", "Lazying on the Sunday Afternoon", "The Millionaire Waltz", and their other classics which you may not familiar with, not like "We are the Champion" or maybe "We Will Rock You" that resound all over the world for the taste of time.

Why I picked up this song is because I secretly really hope that this will be my soundtrack someday, just exactly as it said on this song, of course with my significant others. I'm serious :D. Here's the "magical" line:

We'll go walking in....in the mooooonnnnlight
walking in the mooooonnnnlight :D

4. Baby What a Big Surprise - Chicago

If my top five was nothing but a wishful thinking, maybe it's just the way it is..at least that's what happened until this fourth position. Hope it could be true for me one day...and yeah, Chicago has one of the best musical arrangement, in my opinion. Hoist David Foster!

Yesterday it seemed to me, my life was nothing more than wasting time
but here you softly slowly change my mind.........
Baby what a big surprise, right before my very eyes......
then you came to stay
Now, it mend just like before
I think about the love I've thrown awaybut now it doesn't matter anyway

3. Behind the Lines - Genesis

Genesis is certainly my most favorite progressive rock band ever and this live album is really great, but this love song was even more special for me. This song says it all. I merely could not say much about it. It's written in the book, just like it said :)

The sunny's hotter than I have felt before, but I feel so cold, and I don't know why
If the fire within your heart can beat the storm, then I really believe, oh, you're gonna make it right
Time has come now, we got to show our feeling
but I'm looking my tune, your heart is empty
but whatever happen to you, it's too late to change now
coz' there is nowhere you can run to, no place to hide, ah, you let me down...
but I can only stay if you've the will to keep me here....Oh, Lord...
Oh, it's written in the book!

2. Till there was you - The Beatles

This simple love song has a very deep meaning, in my opinion. It tells you that you are simply nothing and not able to feel anything without the one you love the most. It's from "With The Beatles" album.

1. Still.....You Turn Me On - Emerson, Lake and Palmer

Here is the champion! I really love the way Greg wrote, arrange and sang it. It even tears me up while smiling when I listen to this piece of great art. It's not about ordinary love. It's about unconditional love. I hope someday I will love a man like this and being loved in return just like this. If I found someone like that, I think that must be the one :)

Let me tell you something, you just couldn't be wrong
You see I really have to tell you, that it all get so intense
From my experience, it just doesn't seem to make sense
but still.....you turn me on

Well, you can have your own top-listed love songs since more than 80% of the ever-been-created songs talked about love, I guess. For me, me myself could not even decide whether these songs are really as great as I put them on my list, since there are many more great love songs out there. The 311's "Love Song" is simply my favorite too with its simple yet honest lyric...many of The Corr's song will also do (maybe I should write another post specially dedicated for this band)...and don't forget about many many other Queen's or Beatles' that I have no further opinion about just because they're just simply unspeakably beautiful love songs.

Quipped Song

The girl is fool, she broke the rules, she hurt him hard
this time he will break down...
She's lost his trust and so she must, know all is lost
the system has broke down
romance has broke down....

This boy is cracking up
this boy has broken down
this boy is cracking up
this boy has broke down

she plays it hard, she plays it tough
but that's enough the love is over
she's broke his heart and that is rough
but in the end he'll soon recover
romance is over....

I've been spending my money in the old town
it's not the same, honey, with you not around
been spending my time, in the old town
sure I miss you, honey, but you're not around....


Huff....I wish I could treat my man much more better next time...and the upcoming will be my last...my and his very very last.